Sheilah Griggs is Vice President of Point 3 Media - Producing commercials and branding campaigns for advertisers across the country.
My mother has a Master’s degree in Home Economics. She was teaching college at a very young age, and then chose to set aside her career and stay at home to raise my brother and me. So I grew up believing that was what was required to be a “good mother”...to sacrifice your own desires and career goals; to stay home and raise “good children”.
So when I found out I was pregnant, I felt like my life had just ended. I remember sobbing and my husband looking at me like I had lost my mind because he was so happy! To me, a child meant I was going to be stuck at home and not see my dreams fulfilled; that I would never go anywhere or do anything exceptional. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
When my daughter Cameron was born, I discovered--surprisingly--that being a mommy came naturally to me.... I just “did it”. I didn’t think about the “how to”, I just looked into those little eyes and “did”. My instinct to meet her needs became stronger than any fears that I could not. So I embraced the full time mommy challenge for a season, not yet realizing that those years I spent just being “mommy” were truly preparing me for my future.
However, eventually it became clear I needed an outlet, so I began to work freelance on projects where I controlled my time. I became my own boss so I could still be mommy, too. And yes, Cameron did get dragged into meetings sometimes, and yes, I did have to “shush” her when I was on the phone. And yes, I felt completely and utterly guilty for doing so, and beat myself up good for that.
Then life happened again. When Cameron was 7, I entered a whole new world, the world of single motherhood. Talk about scary! Again, I just looked into her eyes and thought, “I have to do this...it’s not about a career dream...I have to provide for this special little person.” I dealt with a lot of fears at that time, most of which were rooted in “Am I being a good mom?” “Am I doing this right?” “Am I screwing up my child?” The guilt was heart wrenching some days. Looking back, I see I was doing my best. Making mistakes, but always trying really hard.
During that time we lived in LA, then moved to Manhattan, NY. I traveled Europe and we had incredible experiences. (So much for never going anywhere or doing anything!) As she began changing into a young lady, I felt she needed to be closer to family. I wanted her to be able to ride her bike down the street and play with her cousins. Honestly, I just wanted her to stay a little girl as long as she could. So we made a new start once more and moved to Nashville, TN, not knowing anyone there but my brother.
I know for her that it was the best move I could have made. Perhaps for me, too. That was three years ago now, and in that time I’ve made a conscious effort to let go of the guilt and self abusive “bad mommy” thoughts and, little by little, I’ve done that. With that release has come more success and happiness, and more enjoyment of our life. We are surrounded by great people who not only believe in me, but believe in her gifts as well.
Today I can see those positive things my daughter (now a teenager, yikes!), has learned from my life experience. She has learned how to recover, how to work hard, how to sacrifice for things that are important. She has learned to embrace new things, and open her heart to new people. Maybe more than anything, I hope I have taught her that even if you are afraid, that you can do it anyway.
No doubt my life path would have been different without her. I know I would not be the business woman I am today without first being a mommy. (Talk about learning the art of negotiation!) She has taught me patience and understanding, which has enabled me to better interact with co-workers and employees. I have had to master the art of time management and come to face the fact that I can’t do it all, and that that’s okay. I have a unique life experience I bring to every creative meeting.
I have learned more about myself than I ever would have known without her in my life. She still has those eyes that motivate me to action. And while I still have many dreams to fulfill, life has become less about my destiny and more about my legacy. Talk about inspiration to launch!
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