From Joanna Scaparotti. Joanna is a member of the Boston Ladies Who Launch where she runs a Reiki practice. Her website is Solutions for Stress, and her blog is Urban Vitality.
The
holidays used to stress me out. The angst and impending sense of
doom started just after Labor Day. When most were thinking about
their late summer barbeques, I was already panicking about how I was
going survive the holidays with my sanity and health intact.
The
worst part for me was shopping for holiday gifts - it was like
torture. I stressed about finding those perfect presents that would
delight and please the people I gifted. I stressed about spending
the right amount of money – enough so the person felt valued
but not so much that I would end up broke. I stressed about fair
and equal gift giving, trying to make sure that the gifts I got each
person were equivalent in value and also similar in number to open on
the big day. The more I stressed over gifts, the more I viewed gift
giving as an obligation and came to resent the tradition.
Gifts
weren’t the only terrible obligation demanded of me this
season. There were also the sweets, candies, cookies, and pies that
everyone loves to make and give; of course I had to accept these
gifts and eat them in order not to offend or disappoint. It was
brutal and wreaked havoc on my delicate system. Then there were the
holiday events where I was supposed to be light-hearted, joyful and
merry. Instead I was usually tired and grouchy; with one of those
strained fake smiles that makes everyone else nervous and tense.
Not
surprisingly, my health would decline this time of year after months
of tension and anxiety. I would be exhausted and achy, suffering
from indigestion and some kind of upper respiratory ailment.
January would finally come, and I would collapse into my bed for as
long as possible, like the Grinch in his hidey-hole secretly plotting
how to stop holidays once and for all.
One year, I just couldn’t go through with it. I wanted a break, and I refused to shop. Lo and behold, my husband ended up taking care of all of the presents. It turned out not to matter that he bought them all just days before Christmas, and they weren’t strategically planned to please and delight. He enjoyed himself, and nobody could tell the difference between a gift bought spontaneously and a gift chosen deliberately with much debate. I saw the distinct difference of enjoyment between a gift giver giving from his heart, and a gift giver giving out of obligation. It was one of those “ah ha!” moments for me.
I remembered what the holiday season is actually about – celebrating the people and relationships that enrich our lives with love, respect and gratitude. Most importantly, I realized that I myself was someone I loved, and that it was about time I started celebrating and respecting my own well-being during the holidays. I experimented with giving gifts spontaneously and saying “No” to sweets while putting my health first. I’ve finally settled on an approach to the holidays that I really enjoy -- a combination of prioritizing my own well-being, going with the flow, and finding moments to cherish.
I enjoy the holidays now because I stick with these ten guidelines:
1. Eat a balanced breakfast every day with plenty of protein. It curbs my cravings and provides energy to make it through the day.
2. Get enough rest. Adequate sleep helps me make good decisions about what to eat, and how to spend time and money.
3. Make well-being and self-care a priority. I take time to relax, rejuvenate and exercise everyday.
4. Say “No” to commitments, events and foods that don’t nourish the body or spirit.
5. Breathe deeply and go with the flow when things don’t turn out as expected.
6. Keep the perspective of a child. I look for small and magical moments to cherish during the season.
7. Smile freely. Never underestimate the power of kindness to change a situation.
8. Don’t try to do it all. There are only so many hours in the day, and I’ve realized that some things may need to be postponed.
9. Ask for help when needed instead of trying to do it all alone. It’s been a delightful revelation to find out that friends and family like to help, and of course I return the favor.
10. Indulge a little. It’s healthy to be joyful and enjoy the sweets, the gift giving and the magical moments without judgment.
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